Author Archives: Ian

Recipe: The Berry Manilow (ep.2)

1 bag assorted berries (frozen)                     1 peach (it’s definitely a peach this time) 2 chunks of Asian pear 1) Pour the berries in the blender with reckless abandon. 2) Tear the pit out of the peach with your bare hands; plop the peach in that blender 3) chuck in the pear chunks 4) Blend! […]

Read More

Recipe: The Thunder Bay Bovril (ep.2)

1 bag of frozen peas                                             2 tiny Bananas 1 slice of pineapple                                               1 apple 1) Pour the peas (like 200 of ’em) 2) Throw those ‘naners in there 3) Let the apple join the party, the pineapple is invited too, I guess. 4) Blend! What did our panelists think? Josh (unrated) “I was just […]

Read More

Recipe: The Orange Julius Garbage Bin (ep.2)

1 Orange (missing a single slice)                     1 Plum (Peach? Plum? Plum. It’s a plum.) 1 slice of pineapple                                               2 liberal scoops of yogurt 1) Try to figure out what a plum is. Does it have a pit? Take it out if it does, I guess. Put in the blender 2) Add the orange and the […]

Read More

Recipe: The Grapefruit Nightmare (ep. 1)

1 king’s feast of grapes                                                   Half a carrot One quarter of a watermelon                                      Some grapefruit juice and ice 1) Dump some grapes in there (a king’s feast) 2) Place a quarter of a watermelon on the soft, delightful bed of grapes 3) Add that half a carrot. The more the merrier! […]

Read More

Recipe: The Milky Tomato (ep. 1)

1 Can Lychee                                                   1 pack Heirloom Tomatoes (not de-stemmed) 1 orange (peeled)                                           Some Milk I guess 1) Take an obscene amount of time to open the Lychee can. 2) Dump the ingredients into the blender. 3) Blend! What did our panelists think? Josh (unrated) “Tastes only like tomato” Jeff (7/10 […]

Read More